Your period is that friend that comes to visit with some good news but delivers it in the worst way.
“You’re not in debt but you are broke.”
“You’re not unattractive but you are single.”
“You’re not pregnant but you are in pain.”
While periods suck, considering the alternative, it could be much worse.
To make you – and myself – feel better, I have comprised this list of the positive aspects of periods.
Why Your Period Rocks
1. You’re not pregnant.
Yes! Safe for another month! Congratulations. Why don’t you get yourself a drink and make a toast to yourself and that bloody period of yours.
2. You can use it as an excuse to get out of nearly anything.
“Why didn’t you do your homework?”
“I’m sorry, I had major cramps last night.”
“Oh… well see that it doesn’t happen again.”
“Hey, you’re gonna run in that marathon next week?”
“I would but it’s that time of month.”
“Could you come pick me up from the airport?”
“Can I have a bite of that?”
“I’m bleeding from my vagina.”
3. You can get away with being bitchy.
Of course any time a girl shows even the slightest hint of emotion, people assume it PMS. So why not milk it for all it’s worth? Seriously, feel free to rip somebody a new one and end your rant with “I just get so emotional around this time” and they suddenly get all understanding.
4. You learn to appreciate your body more.
I don’t know about you but I have never felt more self-loving than once the flow was gone. I just feel like giving myself a big hug.
“Yes we survived another one. Good work, partner.”
5. Lots of Sympathy
Every person that has had a period can fully empathise with another person so people will try and make things easier for you because they know how much it sucks. While you’re not an invalid, you’re not exactly at your best either and your friends now this and they will try to help. Enjoy it while it last.
So you see, your period isn’t that bad. Of course that was just five pros against so many cons. Which I shall now list out as well.
Why Your Period Sucks
1. The excruciating pain
Getting cramps during your period is like being whacked in the stomach with a bat and having to walk around like “I’m fine. This is fine. Everything is fine.”
2. Major Discomfort
Every move during your period is a self-conscious one.
“Can people see my pad through my outfit?”
“Am I stained?”
“What if my tampon falls out?”
“Why did I choose today of all days to wear a skirt?”
“I really like this outfit; I hope I don’t bleed all over it.”
“Oh God, what if people can smell the period on me?”
“I better not be stained.”
Not to mention, sneezing or laughing or any sudden movement makes it feel like your vagina has turned into a waterslide, only instead of water, it’s blood.
I suffer from acne most of the time so my period isn’t any different but I assume it would be very annoying for someone who has near flawless skin to suddenly go spotty. And, maybe it’s just me, but period pimples feel a lot more painful than regular ones.
4. Goodbye Cute Underwear
Whenever it gets to my time of the month, I have to resist the urge to out on any underwear that’s remotely cute.
Me: Well I still have a week to go before it comes so it’s safe for me to wear this unbelievably adorable lacy little number with the bow in front.
My Period: Muahahahaha
And it’s Bye Bye Lacy.
If you’re wondering “Can’t you just wash the blood out?” Sure you can. But it’s never quite the same.
I cannot count the number of times I’ve taken off my pad in the morning and heaved a sigh of relief thinking, “The coast is clear.”
So to celebrate, I put on my cutest outfit and go out skipping. Only to come back home and find out the Red Sea parted between my legs.
Why you do this, period? Why?
Something that gives people unrealistic expectations about periods is tampon commercials.
It usually features some girl with perfect skin and long flowy hair in a white dress frolicing through a field of flowers.
First of all, why would anyone wear white on their period? Are you trying to jinx yourself?
Secondly, the last thing you’d want to do is frolic through a field.
A more realistic commercial would be a girl wearing sweatpants splayed out on her couch and pigging out on ice cream and chips or doubled over in pain while laying in bed with a half-eaten chocolate bar crushed in her fist.
But maybe there are some mythical unicorn-like creatures who do have commercial-type periods. More power to them.
The main thing to know is that your period is absolutely natural and it should never be treated like a taboo.
Do you ever look forward to your period? What’s your least favorite thing about it?
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